I met him at a park on a mild August evening. He was grilling hamburgers, helping out at an event put on by the young adult ministry from my church. We were introduced to one another and made a few minutes of small talk. He knew what he was doing on the grill. In that situation it's just knowing when to flip and remove pre-formed burger patties, but you can tell a guy who knows what he's doing even from easy stuff like that if you're paying attention.
Some time later, we eventually got to talking about making ginger ale. I have no idea how this happened, but I thank the good lord above that it did. Taylor and I not knowing one another very well at all and Taylor wanting to learn how to make ginger ale led to my coming over to his place on New Year's Eve of 2007. His wife Ann, who is wonderful, had to go to bed early to wake up early for work and Taylor didn't have any plans. I considered going to a party to which I was invited by a friend, where my main objective would have been to get to know a girl for whom a couple friends thought I'd be a good match. Spending some time to get to know Taylor instead of chasing a girl is one of the better decisions I've ever made. I showed up around nine with a bunch of ginger root, some sugar, club soda and cranberry juice - Taylor had told me that Ann loves a little cranberry juice with her ginger ale.
Making ginger ale is extremely easy and extremely delicious. All you need is ginger, sugar, water, and club soda. Saying that it's "making ginger ale" isn't entirely accurate; it's actually making a ginger syrup which is then added to club soda to make the equivalent of ginger ale. Heat equal amounts of sugar and water in a pot. While the sugar and water are heating, peel the ginger. This is done quite easily by scraping it with a spoon. Chop the ginger up and add it to the sugar and water mixture. Let it boil in there for about 15-20 minutes. Remove it from the heat and strain the ginger out. Now you've got a nice concentrated ginger syrup. Add it to club soda to taste. Good with a little lime as well.
We started talking while we were preparing the ginger syrup. At the time, I didn't know how easily the ginger could be peeled with a spoon, so we used paring knives. I also didn't know that removing the ginger's skin isn't very necessary at all. It was tedious, but both of us are the type who enjoy the process of food preparation too much to be annoyed by it. As we leaned against counters and talked a bit, the boiling ginger syrup filled the house with the smell of fresh ginger. There aren't a lot of things that smell better than fresh ginger. After the syrup had reduced enough, we strained it, made a couple of drinks and sat down.
We talked about a lot of things, among the first of which was how stupid it was that I was going to go chase some girl I didn't know at a New Year's Eve party. In disbelief at how stupid it was, I was telling Taylor about how dumb I felt about it. Rather than trying to convince me to think otherwise, he talked about how it was stupid and about how coming to his house was way the hell better. I liked that about him.
Taylor cut right to it, and it was easy to do so with him, even that early in our friendship. That same night, we talked at length about a difficult decision I was in the process of making. I was about to stop attending college for a number of reasons. He listened, weighed what I had told him, and gave me his honest opinion on it. I quickly learned that as good as Taylor was at messing around and having a good time, his ability to connect with people and to get to the heart of a matter was far more impressive. We sat down together and talked about the deeper and more important things in our lives - an activity we would share countless times in the months after that.
Taylor and Ann are moving to India for the next two years to do missionary work (they have a blog set up on which they will chronicle important events). They leave this Thursday. A few nights ago, I stopped by their house to sit and talk with them, to get to the heart of matters one more time before they leave. Just me and a couple of very, very good friends talking about life and God and all the things that make us happy to be alive and to know one another.
Though I couldn't be happier that they're doing what they're doing, I'm met with a deep sadness at the thought of not seeing them for so long. They are the truest sort of friends.
The knowledge that I'll go so long without seeing them has made me think about all of our times together and has brought me to this realization:
There are few things that feel better or more right to me than to sit and connect with people, getting to the heart of matters. That process of drawing people together through the relation of thoughts and hopes and sorrows and experiences might be the most gratifying thing I get to do in my life. Being involved in youth and young adult ministry, I get to do it a little more than some people - but I don't get to do it nearly enough.
My favorite Fleet Foxes song suggests that days are just drops in the river to be lost always. I feel like the days when I get to do this are the part of the river where the current is most swift, where the river is most forceful and has the most potential to change the landscape ahead of it. They seem to me the most significant and noteworthy - but I don't get to do it nearly enough.
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